I know some of you are wondering about Travis. Geez, that story could take 2 years to get through, but i'll sum it up.

After the Cheetahs split this last time, him and his mom moved to North Dakota. I don't know if you remember that or not, but I was really (and still am) upset about it. Although I want her to pull her head outta her ass, I wish she could do that somewhere much closer to me. I hate that he has no supervision and no one around to 'watchdog' her. In any case, I haven't seen him since August. I call once a week to make sure I can keep tabs on where they are and what they're doing....one of my greatest fears in life is that she'll just take off someday and i'll never be able to find him again. Seriously, I actually have anxiety over this. So, I call. I send notes. And believe it or not, she is actually doing okay for herself.

However, I had a sad conversation with her last week. Back up: since the day i have known Travis, he has looked like an Ethiopian child. His belly has always been extremely distended and i've talked to her ALOT about this. She always claimed he was fat from too many hot dogs. I tried to explain that it was NOT fat and that she needed to have a doctor look at him, but you know how that goes. Anyhow, I couldn't get ahold of her for almost 10 days straight and I was kind of borderline freaking out. Finally she called me back and said she was sorry she hadn't called but that Travis had been really sick and was in the hospital. Longer story short: He has celiac disease. (Google it) He has been extremely malnourished long enough now (because he hasn't been with me since August!!!! ) that it has made him very ill. They took him off of all gluten and a nutritionist from the hospital took her to the health food store, bought her a bread machine, and gave her recipes that he can have. He is doing much better.

It kills me that i'm not around for this stuff. I sometimes feel like the spouse in a messy divorce who gets shafted with child custody. I just can't do anything, and it is so frustrating, I can't even vocalize how angry it makes me. I just keep saying "you aren't his mom, you're doing your best" (repeat x10). Although I'm sure she realizes the seriousness of it, I don't know if she has near enough skills to maintain his diet long term. I guess that remains to be seen.....too bad Travis will be the one suffering if she can't keep it together.

Good news, however: He is coming in May and staying all summer. He will be here 3 months and we'll get some time to catch up. Simon is thrilled with this plan, and we have lots of fun stuff planned. As he gets older, it may be harder to maintain this long distance relationship we have, but i'm just praying that God keeps him in our lives until he doesn't really need us anymore.

So, that is that.

I have a doctors appointment today for my PCOS follow up. I started new med and so we'll see how much it's helping. I feel great, so that's a plus........

If I find one more itty-bitty-mini- lego on my floor i'll kill someone. I am so serious. I have stepped on, kneeled on, sat upon, and vacuumed up one too many pieces of Indiana Jones and his motorcycle. I am gonna freak out very shortly! Whoever designed legos (especially the itty-bitty-mini ones) needs to be shot at close range. With a rifle containing cartridges filled with mini-lego pieces. Not buckshot. Buckshot is sissy stuff.


It's my own fault, I bought the damn things. One more instance of thinking i'm doing a great thing...only to find it bite me in the ass. Ahh, such is life. The boys are at a cub scout pack meeting, so i've had all evening to myself. Well, sort of. My mom is here (she is still living with us, remember) but she's in bed by 8, so it's nice and quiet. I'm hanging out watchin' the history channel, because that's what us high rollers do on a Friday night, don't ya know. I love the history channel. I'm watching something on Hitler, and it's sort of like a train wreck....I can't stand to watch it, but I can't NOT watch it.

Gonna go catch up some more and see what i've been missing all these months. Later!

I've come and gone so many times I don't even actually know if i'm here. I just can't stay away, I guess. So many things have happened in the past year....and I really missed sharing them. Even if it was to myself. Seeing my thoughts appear before me has always been such an anchor for me. I've kind of floundered without that, and i'm hoping to get back ''in touch" with that part of myself. No silly screen names. No frilly template. Just words. Sometimes I feel like that's all I am.